Tuesday, 28 June 2016
Have Yous All Gone Mad?
In The Post Office
S: You're welcome home, Brian.
Me: Thanks very much.
S: So what do you think of the referendum?
Me: I'm horrified.
S: Well I think yous have made an awful hames of it. I do, really.
Me: You're right there.
S: I'll tell you this much - any of them that has a few shillings in their pockets now will have a lot less to jangle next week. And aren't they the same eejits that voted for it?
Me: They are, indeed.
S: I'm not a conservative thinker, Brian, but I thought your man, Cameron, did a bully job. I can’t believe you turned him down. But what was wrong with the Labour fellow? Sure he was a total wash out.
Me: He was that.
S: Completely useless, so he was. I'd say he bears a big responsibility for the result.
Me: I'd say so, too.
In The Bar
T: Well, what do you make of this Brexit?
Me: It's a nightmare.
T: A nightmare is right. Will we have the border back again, do you think? All them customs posts and everyone smuggling butter and tea and the lord knows what?
Me: I hope not.
T: Have yous all gone mad or what?
Me: Looks like it.
T: I'll tell you what that man Corbyn was a dead loss.
Me: He was.
T: Sure he might as well have stayed in bed.
Outside The Church
M: What in God's name has got into you all?
Me: The referendum, you mean?
M: The referendum, of course.
Me: It's a disaster.
M: It's worse than that. I can tell you now, Brian, your father would have had something to say about this.
Me: He would have been disgusted.
M: Disgusted is right. What I want to know is this: what was the matter with the Labour party? Me: I couldn't tell you.
M: They disappeared off the map entirely.
Me: They did.
M: Well, yous are on your own now. And good luck to you.